That's kind of the gist of it. I'm sad, and a little terrified of becoming my friend. It's not uncommon for it to not work the first time, but it's plenty frustrating. I just feel like there is this long road of IVF in front of me that I really can't afford, at all. I'm not sure we are even able to afford doing the IUI again at this point. I can't decide if my husband is overly optimistic or naive, he's just so darn positive that this morning he was driving me bananas. I love that he is so supportive, but I just feel like my body has failed both of us. It's not the first time and certainly won't be the last, and I feel guilty about it. I also found out another friend is pregnant. This bring the count to like 3 within the last couple weeks and I don't know how many total (it's a lot). I'm happy for them, just sad for me, and a little jealous.
I have work today and hopefully that will be a decent distraction and we are going to go to the temple tomorrow. I really need some answers because I feel like I've just been wrong about everything in my life lately. Not to mention General Conference is this weekend and really, I'm kind of addicted. It's been hard only making it every other week, but I feel its really important that I spend time with my kids. Now that I'm working and not around as often I feel guilty about not spending enough time with them, so for now every other week will have to do it. Well, better go take care of the great kids I do have.
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