So Excited!

Tyson had an interview last week for a job to be an assistant manager at Famous Footwear. We got a call this morning that he got the job and would actually be making more than we had orginally thought! He starts next week and I'm finally feeling like there is a light at the end of this tunnel that is more than just the train.

I also have a job interview tomorrow. I'm not totally thrilled about it. It's part time in a kitchen (which is definitely what I prefer, and it's actually a set schedule which is so hard to find in my industry) however, with the back problems I've been having the past few months (not to mention the trying for another baby) I'm not even sure I could do it. Plus the idea of leaving my babies 3 days a week just makes me want to cry. Thankfully now that Tyson has a job a large chunk of pressure has been lifted off my shoulders. So I'll go to the interview and see what it is, and if they offer me the job we will take it to the Lord, because he's constantly me proving me wrong when it comes to what I think I can handle. Now I'm just praying that all goes well with the ultrasound on Monday, so we can do something about this baby thing :)

Way too much going on

Our lives are not our own. That's the one thing I think I've learned in the past 3 months. I used to make plans, but I think I've decided to give that up. That's not saying I don't have and won't continue to have hopes and dreams, just that I've decided I really don't have a say in much of anything when it comes to my life.

My husband was laid off 3 months ago and hasn't been able to find work since (we are hopeful maybe something will happen this week). Thankfully we had some savings and then came our tax refund, literally the same week we ran out of those. I chalk that up 100% to paying out tithing even though it logically it didn't seem practical, but it's been one thing I've been blessed for doing time and time again, so I'd have to be a fool to stop now. This isn't the first time something like this has happened and it won't be the last, but these many experiences are some of the biggest faith building experiences I've ever had.

I can't say that the last 3 months have really been easy or fun in a lot of ways. One of my brother's is building his dream house and we are doing everything we can to hold on to our little home. In the midst of this comes the other insanity that we have been trying to add to our family. (I know it seems insane, but I know it is absolutely what we are supposed to be doing.) We decided we'd give it 2 months before seeking out help because we already know I have fertility issues and our twins really never should have happened, at least not the way they did. Well 2 months have come and gone, and no baby yet. We started Clomid this last week, after running a ton of tests, they also decided to up my metformin and started me on armour thyroid hormone, because those were out of wack too. Next week we go for an ultrasound to see how my body is handling the Clomid. I'm just praying something goes right.

The other blow we had recently was finding out Tyson is actually 16 credits shy of graduating this year because his counselor messed up, so we have another 2 semesters to go. On the plus side, we were able to qualify for one last pell grant, so at least it's paid for. If we manage the baby thing it wouldn't be so bad because it'd give us a little extra money, and we can split it up so its only 10 credits in the fall and 6 in the spring, so hopefully if we get that little bundle of joy he should be around a little too help, and it's a lot easier to work a job around less school hours. I know I sound like I'm trying to convince myself and I am. I was just so ready for it to be done.

Lastly my good news. This week Jackson finally (he's 19.5 months) took his first steps, and after everything that he's had to overcome to do that, I'm so incredibly proud. I really am positive, I promise, its just hard to convey that tone when there is a bunch of crappy stuff to tell as well. I think I'm a bit resigned. Things have to get better at some point and I have to believe that if we are supposed to add to this family the Lord with provide a way for us to care for it. He always has before so who am I to doubt now. The best thing that has come out of Tyson not working is a newfound love of Temple work and family history. We've gone almost every week since his lost his job and sometimes more than that. I think if we have to go back to once a month I won't be able to handle it. I am so grateful for the good things in my life, I have amazing children who I love so much and an incredibly supportive and loving husband who I know would do anything for me. Things will get better, and someday I'll look back on this and know why, but for now I'm just trying to make it through, and we will.

Crazy Life!

I wanted to update as to what's been going on and leave you with a little "food" idea I stole from Kathie Cooks on pinterest, but upped a little.

So we are lacking a little in cash this year and inspired by a good friend I decided to make most of my kids/neighbors/some extended family's Christmas presents this year.

I've now learned to make soap, I'm working on bath salts and sugar scrubs to go with it for my neighbors, and I may get real crazy and try bath fizzies. Those are mostly for the neighbors and some family.

I've made 2 sets of hand puppets for my little guys, an Old Macdonald set and a nativity set. I've got one more to make that I'm going to try and do like paper dolls, so the person they are for can switch up who the characters are. I've made a handbag for another sister and my big project is the quiet books, thankfully those are almost done because I have so much more to do.

Anyways, for the food. Doesn't this look delish?

Preheat the oven to 350 F. I made roll dough (pretty much the only thing I use my breadmaker for and they come out great every time!), Rhoades would work great for this too, and the lady I stole it from used Grands Biscuits, I prefer the rolls. I had premade meatballs in the freezer, I warmed those up cut them in half (make sure they are precooked), cut up some small pieces of mozzerella and wrapped them up in the dough. Then brush the whole thing with melted butter, sprinkle with granulated garlic and parmesan, bake for 15-17 minutes till they look like this. Enjoy!

Trust

You know when you want to talk to somebody, but you don't feel like you can trust them anymore,yeah, that's where I am right now.

Catch up

So, this last month I've been trying to domesticate myself a little more. I've learned how to make applesauce, which really isn't hard at all, but I've never done it and I was never really a big fan of the stuff, but I do have an apple tree and I figured my kids eat it all the time, so I've made a bunch of applesauce, and go along with that I also learned how to can it. I also got on the grape juice train, mostly because I had a few pounds of them sitting around and I didn't want them to go to waste. They are much more of a process than the apples, and the payout isn't fabulous, but it made me feel plenty accomplished, enough that I went out bought8 more lbs of grapes and did it again. I'm kinda starting to wish I had grape vines, maybe one day.

On the family front, Jameson is gettig better and better at standing by himself, but he's also had this other problem, and I can't decide what I think is causing it yet, but every once in a while he projectile vomits, which is so not a happy mommy moment. He obviously doesn't really get what's going on, so it just scares him, and I'm not the biggest fan of cleaning it up, don't worry, I do anyways. I best get used to it because I'm getting this close to doing the cloth diapering thing too. I'll let you know how that works out. Jackson is doing great, he's trying to stand, not quick as good as his brother, but he will get there. Lastly, Tyson, he's back to school and working full time. It's hard and I don't see enough of him anymore, but this to shall pass, and in the meantime I'm just happy that I have a wonderful guy willing to do whatever he needs to to support us.

We are also looking forward to General Conference this weekend. I so need it.

Jameson

He's the older of my twins, by a whopping minute. He was also a pound smaller than his brother at birth and up until recently he'd actually caught up and was bigger. That being said in the last little while his brother has gotten way bigger than him (well "way" might be a little dramatic, but it seems that way to me.) Jameson is a total mama's boy, sometimes enough to drive me a little crazy, but he's also smart. He's always beating his brother in gross motor skills (Jackson's smart too, just more with fine motor skills). He was the first to crawl, then crawling up the stairs and tonight he was going down them.

My little guys have been afraid of going down the stairs, but tonight Jameson was feeling adventurous, to his own detriment a little bit, and he kind of rolled down the stairs, don't worry, they are soft and there are only 4 of them, and really he only rolled down 2. Anyways, I've been trying to teach him how to go down the stairs, feet first, for a while now, but tonight, he got it. I rolled him around so his feet were on the first stair and kind of pulled him down on his tummy. I only did it once to help him get down, and then I turned to play with his brother and the next thing I knew Jameson was halfway up the stairs, only going halfway to start and then he's go down the 2 or 3 he'd crawled up and he repeated this till he made it all the way too the top. I could just see him thinking, it was such an amazing thing to watch him go slowly and placing his feet just right so he wouldn't fall (he really doesn't like to fall) he finally got to the top and he layed on his tummy to go down, but was facing the wrong direction and was pushing himself across the floor, he just couldn't figure out the part about turning around, so I'd help him and he'd go down, he tried to go down a few different ways, just thinking so methodically. I was amazed. It seems like such a simple thing, but for my babies who were preemies, this was such an accomplishment! It seems so silly, but it is was such a proud moment for me. I love my little Jameson and his big personality and determination when he's trying to figure things out. It's so silly that these little things just make my day, and it seems so small, but it is everything to me. I love you Jameson!

Renovated Kitchen and Family Room

My new Kitchen, We are still putting a few things together (hence the sander on the counter), but this is the gist. If you look in the bottom left corner you will see the wood floor we had to put in to match the rest of the floor in the dining area, eventually we will get them refinished and they'll be all pretty, but for now, hey I've got a floor, and I'm happy! Not to mention all the new lighting and power outlets, I think my old kitchen had 2 outlets, and 2 very ineffective lights, now I have 7! and one in the pantry!

The other side of the kitchen, the pantry is new, now all I need is the cash to get the fridge I really want, and well, we have temporary countertops, I hope to replace them next year, there's that dang, pesky issue of having to pay bills, but it's ok, I've gotten really good at making due, and I can still have parties, which is really all I wanted to do anyways!

Half of the new family room, complete with my little guys toys struned all over the place. There used to be a window where the door is.

And here is the other half, it has these nifty little cubby holes I can hide things in, well once we get doors on them we can in the meantime all my nieces and nephews just think I have an awesome tunnel they can play in. You'll also notice the outlet in the middle of the wall, this is what we also refer to as wishful thinking- maybe one day put up a flat screen, so I can have some more room, and the huge thing at the end will go the way of the world, in the meantime, hey it works, and it is high-def :)

Looking down from the kitchen/dining room into the family room, we made the window sill extra wide so when our guys get a little bigger we can put stools up to it and they can have a little desk/table to color on or snack on. In the meantime, I can put my other little things on it. And see that chair, I've had it since before my little guys were born, but it was stuck in a corner of their room and never really got used. It is now one of my favorite places to sit, and read a book, or cuddle with my little guys, or even just take a short cat nap. It's so comfy!

So that's where it's at for now, we are so excited for all the space and the help we've received from family at friends, and a very special shout out to my dad who did so much work, it's like he lived here for 2 and a half months!