Here's the rant, sorta... So I'm on medicaid, I get WIC, we had food stamps, but I've never taken straight up financial aid. I used to look down on these people, and I'm kind of getting the drift that some people close to me feel the same way about me. I know there are people that take advantage of the system, but I am absolutely not one of them. I'd gladly give all these up for my husband to have a semi-decent job. As it is, that is not the situation, we both work, part time because he can't get a full time job and I still have children I want to care for. My husband is also in school. We are poor, do I wish we weren't, absolutely. Here's the thing, I think people see me talking about it and I think I come off a little too happy about the help, like maybe I am taking advantage of it. Well I guess you are right, I'm taking help, it's humbling, I wish we didn't need it, I wish we could get decent jobs, and I wish we could actually make some of our own choices. Here's what happens, yes I wasn't paying for groceries. We take home 2k-ish a month, we make a house payment, half of that is gone, but hey we didn't forclose and screw the bank over for 150k. We pay for electricity, phones, gas, city bill, car repairs, gasoline to go to work (I've put almost 2k on a credit card for gasoline alone), medical that medicaid doesn't cover, dental, food, small payments from debt involved with school and loss of job. If I didn't take the help I'd be in debt for a lot more than that, and you know what sucks more than being poor, being poor and believing I'll never get out of that hole. That's why I take the help, I need to feed my family, the doctor is a necessity. Do I seem happy about it, probably, because I'm so incredibly grateful that something in my life is being taken care of and not financially taking me down that hole even more. Sorry if I offend you by being appreciative.
Now count down till the end of the year. I spent all day at the hospital with my family. My dad had surgery yesterday and it seemed to go fine. This morning when my mom tried to wake him up, all was not fine, he would not wake up. He is doing much better now, but he's in the ICU and under constant monitoring because if he falls asleep his O2 levels drop and that's when he goes unconscious. So yeah this combined with the rest of the crap I've already written about, I'm so ready for this year to be over, bring on my baby, my lack of job and hubby's graduation in 2013 and I'll be a happy camper.
Oh Sherri! I am sorry that you are having a hard time. I think it is human nature to judge and sometimes people aren't very tactful. We all have our own perspective based on what we have been through and what is important to us. I bet some people wonder why spend money on having kids (I personally was scared to have a kid until Chops had a job) but each person has different ideas of what is important and what family is. You are seriously the most charitable person I know and I know you are willing to help others out so keep being grateful for the help you have; I know that you will pay it forward! I hope your dad is doing better as well.
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